Friday, June 12, 2009

Day Number 10:
Okay, so I had a decent amount written about day number ten and it was lost in the mayhem of computer updates. I haven't been able to grasp the correct day at all; in my mind it has been Tuesday, June8th. The funny thing is, that is not even possible. So somewhere in the mix of cutting a little under three hundred crafts (mind you, which are still an ominous stack, not yet fully accomplished), running to the copy machine, transcribing certain documents, and piecing together a packet--I have lost two days. Here I am still grappling with the idea that, yes, today is Wednesday. And yes, I have been here ten days. Wow. It truly seems like just yesterday. Lou has already started scheming a plan to keep me here rather than translating. And while the last attempt at gathering my thoughts left me feeling mostly dissapointment...since then the affirmation I have received has left me feeling better.It isn't that I go through my life living for affirmation, alone; however when I find myself lost in a new environment I struggle [well, even in the familiar, to be honest] I never feel good enough. I always fearthat I am not doing good enough. I think this is enough for today. It barely graces the surface of the busyness and the crazed state of the office, but I am tired and I am hoping to open one of the books that graced the doorstep, today...More to come much later.

Day Number 11:
A lengthy day...playing catch-up on piecing together the packets for this evening's big meeting with teachers and crew leaders for VBS. My mind turned to mush upon many an occasion between editing and rediting and compiling one packet after another. Yet, thankfully at 5:15 all was compiled forty-five minutes before the meeting was to begin. More cutting was also accomplished, and soonI will be able to say IT IS FINISHED!! Oh hooray, that will be the day. I believe, it shall call for a Starbuck's celebration, because it has been quite a feat. I just read something I found indeed worthwhile for today, especially. "This gives us a new reason to pursue holiness---we might not always be able to rouse ourselves to fight the battle on our own behalf, but we may find a deeper resolve when it comes to loving others. Don't give way, don't surrender. You are needed." This quote and the excerpt I read today were so appropriate. Today, I found myself losing resolve, the inkling to just say, "I need to step away for awhile." To just lose heart and take on a discouraged attitude, of thinking we'll never finish. While I admit, I indeed, took on a withdrawn attitude more than I should have. I kept going, becausesomewhere inside of me this very quote resonated before my eyes were drawn to it this evening. I knew that this wasn't about me, that all the while I should keep going and do this for Mary Beth, ultimatelyfor my Father. It was completed, and now my brain is looking forward an easier day tomorrow...We shall see.

Day Number 12:
I ventured to Starbucks in my giraffe tee, thanks to Niki's wisdom. [ On my way to work this morning]. Aside from that I helped Sue set up the Worship Center, and organized and straightened things for Mary Beth. And I FINALLY FINISHED THE ROCKETS!!! Thanks to Craig's help with the assembly process. It was nice to chat with someone not far from my age while attempting to complete the never-ending pile of rocket growth charts. Mary Beth left to feed her kids, and then called back in saying she probably would not make it back in--so she gave me a little more to complete. And since my heart was set on leaving early today---I completed everything in record timing. Here I am, connected to wi-fi in Starbucks not far from the house and feels absolutely wonderful to be out of the office. I can't really think of anything else worth mentioning. Although, I am trying to down an iced-coffee while fondly remembering Kristi Lee. I honestly don't know if I will be able to manage it, although we shall see. :) I am signing off for now. Farewell, friend.

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