Wednesday, December 1, 2010

facing rejection

Sometimes there are just days when the battle seems that all is lost, when life seems too much to bear, when all you can do is just cling to the hope that you know is promised. Sometimes the comfort a friend offers, mentioning a common understanding, does nothing to heal the ache in your heart. Because there are times when they don't understand. There are times when they are in a different place than you are. There are times when they have hope, and your's is lacking.

All this to say. Thankfully, we have a Saviour who knows our rejection. A Saviour who hears our cries from Heaven. A Saviour who knows us, who gets us. A Saviour who hasn't left and isn't leaving.

I have been dealt many goodbyes in this life, the life of a vagabond, a traveler. With these goodbyes, some friendships have been lost; some have been left to collect dust with fond memories. Yet in everything, my God has been here, and here He remains.

Sunday morning was a battle just to get to church. It was a day when the Enemy tried everything he could to stop me from making the trek into my Father's house. And lo and behold, the message was practically taken from the book "Captivating." Highlighting the pain and the hurt that comes from being a woman who declares herself unloved and unworthy, left to live this life alone. A woman scarred with rejection.

A message that left me in tears, vulnerable to any onlooker, but the tears wouldn't stop. Throughout the entirety of the message, my heart knew it was written for me. Because I had all but forgotten or truly never seen that my Saviour knows me, knows my very rejection.

There is a price that comes with vision. A price that comes with dreams. Sometimes we aren't one to acknowledge the price. Sometimes we and everyone else will just claim that all is well, and all shall be well. We will overlook the wait, in hopes for a sudden answer, a balm for our hurt. Sometimes we will just disguise ourselves to be okay, "sure I'm fine, I am stronger than that now. I let that go long ago." When truthfully on the inside, we are crying out, because for some reason it's still a struggle to think that we might have to live this life alone, to think that we are still not where we thought we would be.

Our Saviour knows us. He knows our rejection. He knows how to reach us when we were are crying with invisible tears. Whether it is a Sunday message, or an article our hearts stumble upon online, or elsewhere. He knows how to reach our hearts and reminds us that we will never walk alone.

"I thought I was ready, but I wasn't prepared for what He was calling me to yet. I needed to struggle, I needed to doubt. I needed to let go of the controls. If God called me to do this, He would open the doors, not me. And at the same time, somewhat paradoxically, I needed to have unwavering resolve to pursue the vision He put in me. What happens when your dreams don't happen easily, quickly or how you thought they would? How do you deal with the delay? It's in those seasons our foundation is laid. Our response determines everything else.

A lot of people give up. They get distracted. They get packed social schedules. They choose an easier path and eventually the dream that once consumed them fades away. If something comes easily and without sacrifice, it's rarely significant.

God has put dreams in each of us, something we can contribute to the world that no one else can. What your's? And what are you doing today to pursue it?

If your dream is worth doing, it won't be easy. But rather than give up when obstacles arise, push through. Embrace the process. Embrace how you'll change." -Cameron Strang, RELEVANT

"He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion." Philippians 1:6

You are His, dear heart. "He is the keeper of your heart." He is at work in you. Your heart matters, so much so that when you are hurting. . . He bears the pain of your rejection with you. He knows you. He understands, when no one else will.

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