It's that time of year. The time of year, most greatly welcome with hearts brimming over in undeniable joy. That time of year, where memories are made beneath the lights of a tree, the candlelight beaming throughout a full sanctuary, the arms of a family's love, the distinct blessing that all is well, because God is graciously, abundantly, always enough.
This year, I experienced the altogether blessing of Christmas. The beautiful joy that comes with this season. If you know me, you know that this means a lot coming from me. The past few years, this time of year has held nothing special, if only instead it has been a time where pain seemed all the more glaringly prominent. The hospital became the home away from home, tears would fall without warning over losing or almost losing someone dear in our lives, tension robbed our hearts of normalcy. Brokenness was my family.
This year, God has given me holidays that bring me to joyful tears. It's as though He has been whispering, "I know you couldn't handle anymore holidays with lost hope. I know you needed to be able to look back on these last few moments with your family with utmost fondness. So here you are, darling girl of mine, here's for holding out hope, for clinging to me with clenched fingers. I have heard your cries. Here you are when the days on the field leave you missing home. Remember your father sitting in his chair, alive and well, laughing at Home Alone 2, your mother with tears in her eyes declaring that was the greatest present she has ever been given, your church being lit by candlelight- with your pastor singling you out in a crowd of thousands pledging prayer for your years to come, your family of four whole, mended, but no longer broken. Tears of joy in the eyes of all, not sorrow. These are your's to remember when the days seem to be more than you can bear. I have heard you. I hear you and I see you. I know you. I know that you needed a Christmas where the light of heaven shined upon you. I know that you needed your family together, with a bond strengthened by the years past. I know that you needed silence to be broken, so that is why I graced you with one last gift. Take heart, for I am always with you, here and on the field to come."
All I can say is this is a Christmas to remember. And if you are out there and a hospital has became a home, depression has taking its' toll on you or someone in your family, if all you can feel is loss and pain taking hold of you. I pray that tonight, You will be reminded that it is enough to cling to Him. He is enough. I pray that you would be comforted that You have a Maker who knows where you are, He knows who you are. Heaven's light shines upon you. There is still hope. There is always hope. You are not alone in this.
So dear Maker, take hold of this child whose eyes have fallen upon a rambling of words, take hold of the daughter struggling to see that in light of everything, all that has been lost, that You are enough, take hold of the son who has fallen out of your light and ran from your sight out of fear that he'll never be enough, take hold of your daughters and sons this very night. . .may Your presence become all the more evident upon their hurting hearts, may they see that their very wounds and hurts are not discounted in Your eyes, that everything the hurt, the joy, the pain, the beauty, everything matters to You. They matter to You. This very night hope is found, because Heaven's light shines upon even this, even these hearts.