Thursday, December 30, 2010

always running away...

Where do I go, from here?
How do I move, from this place?

This place of utter brokenness and despair, undeniable shame. What have I done, but ran from You?

You are enough. Isn't that so?

So why do I choose to beckon words to be heard from another in Your place?
Why do I race to find comfort in Your people, instead of falling into your open, loving arms?

All is easier said than done, in this battle raged upon my soul and trembling heart.
Moments are claimed, when I have it all together, everything inside composed, all in one piece.
Seconds pass, when I find myself amidst shards of broken glass, my heart, everything in pieces.

Here I am, not put together, not in one piece.
Here I am, lost and found.
Here I am, broken and mended.
Here I am, alone and Your's.

Here I am, take all of me.
So that I might see past the smoke, and find the truest and purest of all loves, Your love, alone.

I cannot reckon that anyone will ever fill my emptiness. I cannot reckon that anyone will ever know me, as I am known by You. I cannot reckon that anyone will ever love me, as I am loved by You.

I want to love You more. I want to spend, and gladly be spent for You. I want to be right where You are.

I don't have everything together. Yet, I have a heart full of hopes and dreams to do something, be something more for You. Take all of me, so that everyone will know-will know Your name. Because You loved, You loved a people, undeserving.

I just can't bear to see You, left behind anymore. I just can't bear to know that You aren't thought of in my every waking moment. You took my place. It's time that I begin to live truly, live fully alive. It's time that my heart, my life, is a living sacrifice, a testament. It's time that I bear Your markings, more than upon my wrist. It's time that people know that nothing will deter me from giving You my everything, loving You, with everything.

"The Lord protects the simple;
when I was brought low, He saved me.
Return, O my soul, to your rest,
for the Lord has dealt bountifully with you.
For you have delivered my soul from death,
my eyes from tears,
my feet from stumbling.
I walk before the Lord in the land of living.
I kept my faith, even when I said,
"I am greatly afflicted." Psalm 116: 8-10

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