You are stronger. It’s a truth that with each passing day seems to grow within me.
I’ve known my share of goodbyes and reckoned with the price of heartbreaking pain. I’ve lingered at the thought of letting go and laying down, when life seemed to get the best of me. I’ve ran from you and resisted Your voice within, with all that I am. I’ve fallen prey to the lies that somewhere along the way, You left me, without hope, without reason, without the strength to move on. I’ve given in to the doubts that I am not good enough, and will never be. I’ve clung to people in Your place and…scarcely have I wanted to let go easily.
In the midst of all that I have done and all that I am; Your steadfast love never ceases, Your mercies are new every morning. I’ve failed You. I’ve written you off and chosen to flee when everything seemed to be falling apart, time and again.
But I was never too far out of Your reach…I was always within it.
For all of this, tears of thanksgiving are beginning to fall down my cheeks, because my every cry has been heard. Despite my running and all of my misgivings, I am loved. Despite everything I have done, You love me. You love this daughter whose hope was once lost, whose voice was once unheard, whose reason was once overshadowed. You spoke life into me through Your word, Your time, and Your beautiful people. And every last one, whether in present or past, rest upon my heart to this day. Tonight, it’s a prayer for them. For each and every one. That they might know You and all of Your love. That they might reckon with the doubts, the pain, the past and find they were and always will be within Your loving reach, as You beckon them home.
And I’ll stand with heart abandoned, because all I am, is Your’s. It’s Your’s. Only Your’s.