Friday, September 3, 2010

Fearful and Flawed...

Tonight she met with her Maker,
her beloved Saviour.
Humbled to tears,
that You her God, would love her enough, to take away her fears.

She found You, within the crisp pages of a book,
and realized how often of You, she overlooks.
She met with You in her broken scattered prayer,
and You, You were right there.

And now...the weariness, the weight is losing its' hold on her...
and her heart it is being reawakened, it is beginning to stir.
You are in this,
and so she can look to You, and Your faithfulness.

The weariness that had its' hold on me these past weeks is beginning to leave me. And God, He is opening my eyes to see--the people that He has placed in my life so perfectly. Those that are but a phone call away, those that welcome His words that He needs to say. Those that speak life over me, when I am but a lost soul fighting misery. Those whose light in their eyes bring hope, for when it seems to be a shadowed demise. Those who understand that there is beauty in silence, and will just sit with me no matter the distance.

Those whose love is so beyond me, I don't even have the eyes to see. Those that just go out of their way to remind me that He is in this, with me. That there is a life-giving God in my midst; He is in, even this.

My God seeks me. He delights in me. He pursues me. And what do I do in return? I run. I let the fear take hold. I choose comfort and complacency at times, over being bold. I look to others more often than Him. I stumble. I fall. I give it all up, to leave it all. I become consumed. I latch onto lies. But, my God is a God of love, and He calls me His own, His beloved, His prize.

"Fear can and often does, control our actions, our thoughts, our faith. Fear can dictate where we live and where we worship. From my perspective, fear too frequently is the barrier that keeps us from stepping beyond the familiar and into the realm of the uncertain."

What does it all come down to? "Our life is not our own, and God will be with us wherever we go."

And to think that God chooses flawed, fearful people, that He chooses me to rise, to live for love's cause. It's okay for the fearful and flawed to become vulnerable, to admit their fears, their greatest shortcomings.

It's okay for me, fearful and flawed, to become vulnerable, to admit my fears. But it's not okay to let fear keep me from moving into the unfamiliar and loving to the tips of my fingers.

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