Sunday, November 21, 2010

These past few days have been an absolute whirlwind of emotions:

Awakened to a sudden sadness that stole my very breath.

Encouraged by the hope that You're all I ever needed.

Abandoned and left to memories of what once was.

Wounded with an oppressing ache of loneliness.

Sheltered in the arms of my Maker, who never leaves, and always loves.

Overjoyed at where You are taking me.

Tuesday, I fell asleep soundly. Wednesday, I awakened to an undeniable sense of grief, emptiness, loss. A pain so harsh that my knees felt weak and too feeble to step out from the covers, be awakened from sleep. My heart felt paralyzed, abandoned, empty. . . I couldn't put words to my sadness, the ache that closed in around me. I still can't. A part of me still, and will always be with you. It's a journey from here, and on into freedom. He is my Shelter, my refuge, my very strength. He is my reason on the days of all-encompassing sorrow, and brimming joy. He is enough for the heartache, the wounds, the emptiness. He is more than enough for all of me.

The enemy tells me that I'm not enough, that the fleeting feeling is all I will ever experience. That I'll never have a hand to hold. That I should just lay down on the coming Wednesdays of my life and just not move any further. Because I will always be left to fight alone. And what are these? LIES.

My Maker has tears in His eyes when the lies take hold. He whispers ever so gently, "Little Girl, I am not, I won't let go. When the shards of brokenness leave you empty, when the ache of your heart takes away your breath, when the thoughts of what could have been are all that you have left. . . take heart, and don't fall prey to his lies, that all that awaits you is demise. You are my beloved. You are beautiful. You are known. You are not your own. There is shelter, there is rest, there is refuge.. here in My arms of love."

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