The Parts of My Heart.

There are so many things I need to be doing, but I find myself just waiting for anything to encourage me to move. To merely do something. And instead I get lost in the music that is quietly playing in the background and look to it for company. A dear friend and I were discussing the profound truths of Tenth Avenue North's lyrics, and though I had listened to the song, "Oh My Dear" many times before...I decided to venture back to it, and it's as if they know right where I am.

They know my heart, in its' present crazed state. They know the part of my heart holding onto the little girl dream of being loved by someone who knows that they are enough, the part of my heart scared to death that this hurt will become all too familiar, yet again. The part of my heart knowing that I need to trust to leave it all in His hands, the part of my heart wondering what I should do, should say next. The part of my heart that says to myself, "you deserve to be vulnerable, without fear." Because 'perfect love casts out all fear.' The part of my heart that says don't let the walls down again, because you are just going to fall. So you see, these are the things running through my head...distracting me from what I should be doing, what I need to be doing. And as I said last night, I know that my God is in this.

It's just from time to time, my thoughts do get the best of me. As I write, I am reminded that I know the remedy. It's going to be once again, giving God all of me.

I called you up, you were in bed, could barely make out the words that you said
But you wanted to see me instead, so I got dressed
So I stepped out into the snow, and walked for a mile or so
Felt the rush of blood come from the cold, within my chest

Well, you finally came to the door, and we talked for an hour or more
Until I asked if you would stay up until four, and you said that's fine
But you said "theres something I have to say, and I can just because I am so afraid"
And so I held you as you started to shake, that night

Oh, my dear, ill wait for you
Grace tonight will pull us through
Until the tears have left your eyes
Until the fear can sleep at night
Until the demons that you're scared of
Disappear inside
Until the scale begins to crack
And this weight falls from your back
Oh, my dear, ill keep you in my arms tonight

You slowly lifted your head from your hands
You said "I just don't think you'll understand
You'll never look at me that way again
If you knew what I dida"

And so your tears fell and melted the snow
You told me secrets nobody had known
But I never loved you more, even though
Now I know what you did

Oh, my dear, ill wait for you
Grace tonight will pull us through
Oh, my dear, ill wait for you
Grace tonight will pull us through
Until the tears have left your eyes
Until the fear can sleep at night
Until the demons that you're scared of
Disappear inside
Until the scale begins to crack
And this weight falls from your back
Oh, my dear, ill keep you in my arms tonight

Until the tears have left your eyes
Until the fear can sleep at night
Until the demons that you're scared of
Disappear inside
Until the scale begins to crack
And this weight falls from your back
Oh, my dear, ill keep you in my arms tonight
I'll keep you in my arms tonight

-"Oh My Dear," Tenth Avenue North.