Tuesday, January 4, 2011

"Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life."

I am thankful that You love me. I am thankful that You are with me.

I am not alone.

I haven't been left to fend for my own heart, piecing it all back together.

For You are with me.

12 Moses said to the LORD, “You have been telling me, ‘Lead these people,’ but you have not let me know whom you will send with me. You have said, ‘I know you by name and you have found favor with me.’

13 If you are pleased with me, teach me your ways so I may know you and continue to find favor with you. Remember that this nation is your people.”

14 The LORD replied, “My Presence will go with you, and I will give you rest.

15 Then Moses said to him, “If your Presence does not go with us, do not send us up from here. 16 How will anyone know that you are pleased with me and with your people unless you go with us? What else will distinguish me and your people from all the other people on the face of the earth?”

17 And the LORD said to Moses, “I will do the very thing you have asked, because I am pleased with you and I know you by name.”

18 Then Moses said, “Now show me your glory.”

Weary, wounded, the light is gone here, so won't You please, show me Your glory?

I believe. I trust. No longer will I ask for clarity, I will wait for You-when my heart desires to cave in upon itself, when the pain beckons me off in the distance, when it's seems to be too much of a battle. . .

"He says simply, “I know, my son, I know.”

And that is an incredibly tender thing to say as someone’s expectations crumble.

And I think it’s something God still says to us, even today.

“I know, my son, I know. I know, my daughter, I know. That thing you wanted is not going to happen. Not the way you’ve always dreamed. I know this hurts. I know this stings. I know you feel like I am distant or not aware of where you are and who hurt you and what you think life was supposed to be like. I know in moments like this you doubt that I can count the hairs on your head or have your best in mind. But please, I am not done. I have barely started to reveal your life to you. I am the God who satisfies your desires with good things. That is me! And when it comes to your hopes and your fears and your dreams, I know, my son, I know.”

I think of this moment as the “soft x.”

I think of the tenderness of Israel with his arms outstretched and crossed. I think of our desires and our dreams and the times they don’t work. And above all, I think of a God who wants to tell you he hears you, he loves, he knows you. He is not disconnected or disinterested in who you are and who you want to be. Today, he says,

“I know, my son, I know.”

"The soft X." http://stuffchristianslike.net/2010/12/the-soft-x/?awesm=fbshare.me_AYBUW

I will remember that apart from You, I am nothing. My very soul clings to You.

Because You know the hurt, the fight. . . You know me, and right where I am.

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