In the shelter of each other we will live. . .

Life has taken at toll on me these past couple of weeks. . .

But in the midst of undeniable pain, my God has met me constantly right where I am. Even on the days when my eyes have just wanted to fall to the ground and do anything but look up to Him; He has lifted me up and held me close.

Tears fell as I listened to Aaron Shust sing a song I had heard so many times before, but what felt like for the very first time: "My Saviour lives, My Saviour loves, My Saviour's always there for me." Following that song he went on to tell a story of a man who traveled to India and asked Mother Theresa to pray that he would find clarity. She replied, "You need not pray for clarity. You need to trust. I will pray that you will trust."

So many days have lately been spent in the company of both silence and of dear friends with tears crying out for clarity. How applicable to me, it was and still is.

In these past few weeks I have had to look to Him; I have had to trust Him more than ever before. I have had to acknowledge with both my head and my heart that He is enough. He is more than enough for me. In the wake of pain, heartache, He is enough. Always, enough.

"And it’s out of my hands, it was from the start

In light of what you’ve done for me

In light of what you’ve done for me

You lifted my head, set me apart

In light of what you’ve done for me

This is what you’ve done for me

It’s out of my hands

It’s out of my hands"

I recently stumbled upon Jars of Clay's new album, Shelter, which was inspired by a series of essays written by various authors. The lyrics have been perfectly fitting for me. To know that it's all out of my hands and to be able to rest in that truth, is something altogether beautiful.

These past few days I have had to give things up and pursue others. I have had to trust and stop begging and fighting for clarity. I have found my Father in the words of a well-known song, and a mixture of altogether new ones. I have found my Father in the words of His own writing that have often gone overlooked and misunderstood. I have stumbled upon the goodness of His love, all the more these days, and my eyes have once again seen the beauty in the breaking, and the taking.

"In the shelter of each other the people live."

To all who are looking down

Holding onto hearts still wounding

For those who’ve yet to find it

The places near where love is moving

Cast off the robes you’re wearing

Set aside the names that you’ve been given

May this place of rest in the fold of your journey

Bind you to hope, you will never walk alone

In the shelter of each other, we will live, we will live

In the shelter of each other, we will live, we will live

Your arms are all around us

If our hearts have turned to stone

There is hope, we know the rocks will cry out

And the tears aren’t ours alone

Let them fall into the hands that hold us

Come away from where you’re hiding

Set aside the lies that you’ve been living

May this place of rest in the fold of your journey

Bind you to hope that we will never walk alone

If there is any peace, if there is any hope

We must all believe, our lives are not our own

We all belong

God has given us each other

And we will never walk alone

Isaiah 54:5-7, 10:

"For your Maker is your husband—

the LORD Almighty is his name—

the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer;

he is called the God of all the earth.

The LORD will call you back as if you were a wife deserted and distressed in spirit—

a wife who married young, only to be rejected," says your God.

For a brief moment I abandoned you,
but with deep compassion I will bring you back.

Though the mountains be shaken
and the hills be removed,
yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken
nor my covenant of peace be removed,"
says the LORD, who has compassion on you."

There are doors opening that I have been waiting for for years. The field is not as far off, as it once was.

And my heart is speechless, overwhelmed and absolutely joyful.

My eyes fell upon these few lines in last night's reading:

"You-you-were worth dying for.

And you are beautiful.

You are holy.

You are free."

"It's out of my hands. It was from the start. You've lifted my head. You've set me apart. . ."